The "Rubbish" movement

Today we at The Mores Society are contacting you having just returned from a day out in the field. Our subject matter? The "Rubbish" movement. Having pursued art and aesthetic through derelict building sites, squalid city dumps, deserted theme parks and those areas underneath "flyovers" (flyunders?) we think we have our finger on the pulse of this handsome new fad.

As we all know, the works involved in this movement look horrendous. From the sickening art that adorn walls in "galleries" to the truly awful way in which people who are associated with the movement dress, the overall result is one of depression, isolation and an unwillingness to have anything to do with the processes of living. We therefore focus today on decorating your bedroom in this exciting style.

However you have previously decorated your room, even if there is little to no decoration at all, you must forget all preconceptions of appearance. Any patterns pleasing to the eye must be lost while you embark on this effort. Lines should not flow, they should jar, colours must not compliment but fight and floor space must never be there for walking on. Indeed, it would probably be a good idea to try and prohibit the art of walking in its entirety and put blocks and hurdles around the place (used needles add a certain je n'cest quoi to the whole endeavour also).

Step 1.
Gut your room. Absolutely everything must go. Any items of which you are fond should be disregarded also. Take them to a dump or have someone else take them to a dump for you.

Step 2.
Once you have dumped your stuff off you must immediately start collecting the unbelievable tat that other people have thrown away. Make sure it is so hideous you can barely look at it and so broken it has no hope of performing whatever function it was created for performing.

Step 3.
The final step of this wondrous process is the also the most exciting. A perfect vacuum of 0 Pa must be created in your room. Be careful so as not to spoil the sash windows, they can be very fragile, even when they are not enduring 0 Pa. Next you should place all of the unequivocal shit you have found outside your door. Then, open your door (you should place yourself in a strong stance when you do this. We at The Mores Society recommend having your feet slightly more than shoulder width apart standing side on to the door). All of the incontestable dross your have so carefully selected will be sucked into you room faster than you will be able to witness and your room will be the perfect example of the “rubbish” movement.

n.b. People may well ask to visit after you have completed the transformation to see your “art”. Don’t let them.